Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Ever have one of those days where you feel like your
standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of your lungs,
but no one seems to notice or care? That’s been me the last few days.
Between Sephy and his stupid church, my grandmother being in
town, the kids driving me crazy in the middle of the grocery store or having to
listen to my mother tell me how I should get a real job, I feel like I’m
sinking with no one there to save me.
I would love to say that I’m happy, and to an extent I am.
I’ve got a family that loves me, amazing friends and another little bundle of
joy on the way. But I just can’t help but feel out of sorts.
And everyone I’ve tried to talk to about it over the past
two days is either too busy or doesn’t want to hear it. I hate when people
think there problems are bigger or more important than yours. Hell, ever my own
sister is guilty of this.
I would go to a psychologist,
but I find most of them to be full of themselves. I know some care, but most
seem like they’re only in it for the money.
Midnight…
Thursday, June 27, 2013
“What are you doing up,” Sephy ask me.
“Oh you know,” I respond, “Just feeling unimportant.”
He sighs, “Is it because I’ve been ignoring you lately?”
“That’s part of it,” I say. “It’s more all that’s been going
on the last few days.”
“Yeah, your grandmother wasn’t too kind to me the other
day.”
“She’s never really liked you. And she thinks I’m stupid for
marrying you. But it’s not just that.”
“The job thing,” he asks.
“Another part of it,” I answer. “Sometimes I feel like my
parents are more supportive of my sister being an air pirate then they are of
me being a writer… or trying to make money off any of my creative projects for
that matter. Maybe I should get a job.”
He picks me up and sits me in his lap. “Your fine just as
you are. You’d never be happy in some dead in job making minimum wage. Plus you
don’t really think I could be a stay at home dad do you?”
I smile, “No, no I couldn’t.”
He gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “If it’ll make it
any easier I’ll give up the church thing. Wasn’t going to get me what I wanted
anyway.”
“I knew you were up to something more than just preaching
about Jenova,” I say. “You were after Hojo’s research again weren’t you?”
He just gives me that devious smile of his. Always something
more under the surface…
“Well whatever,” I say, “It does make me feel a little
better… that you’re giving it up I mean. And that you support me even if no one
else really does.”
“They support you,” he assures me. “Maybe it’s me. Maybe
they think that if you get a “real job” that the kids will have some sort of
role model to look up to.”
“Some role model I’d be,” I protest. “I think I’m a better
role model doing something I love. Even if I don’t always get paid for it.”
“And there you go,” he says. “You know what you want so just
go for it, like me.”
“I don’t think I want to be like you,” I scoff. “Gaia can’t
handle one of you, more less two.”
“And if you really think about it. There’s four of me… soon
to be five.”
Oh my gods what have I done? I’ve cursed all of Gaia, that’s
what I’ve done. I knew I should have stayed home.
He just laughs at my silence. “It’s alright. I’ll try to
help out more.”
“You can prove that by not running off and making me take
the kids grocery shopping next time.”
He laughs again, picking me up bridal style. “Time for bed
my Angel,” he says. He caries me upstairs and into our room, sitting me down on
the bed.
Maybe a good nights rest is all I need to feel better. We’ll
see how I feel tomorrow… well later today. Maybe I’ll get brave enough to send
one of my books into a publisher or work on some new media thing for my
portfolio.
As long as I believe in me I don’t need anyone else, but it
is nice to know that no matter what… Sephy will always believe in me.
A/N: Wow… tough chapter right? Who would have thought my
Muse would show back up in the middle of the night in the strangest of ways.
Anyhoo, enough of that sad stuff. I will get back to
writing once a day starting Friday (This counts as today’s chapter right?) And
it’ll be back to my normal humor. I mean now that my Muse is back…
Muse: Sorry love, but we both needed the break.
Sephiroth: Hey! Don’t call her love! That’s my job.
Me: And your both doing such a wonderful job. 12:34… Make
a wish!
Sephiroth: What?
Me: Never mind… I do want to thank everyone for reading
this story and the kind reviews. You guys and girls are the reason I continue
to write.
Sephiroth: I thought you wrote this for that friend of yours?
Me: I was getting around to thanking her, I mean if it
wasn’t for Superevee supporting the idea in the first place we wouldn’t be here
right now. But it’s nice that so many people have enjoyed this story as well
and I want to be at my best.
Sephiroth: Which is why your Muse should stay put…
No comments:
Post a Comment