Neko

Friday, May 17, 2013

I had come home last night to more than I had bargained for.

“So you know that gold materia we found,” Isdela questioned as I walked though the front door.

“How could I forget,” I mumbled.

“Well I know what it does,” Isdela said in a singsong manner.

“It’s some kind of do anything materia,” I said, “You’re a little late to that party Izzy.”

“Whatever, check out what I did with it.” She pointed over to Sephiroth.

“Oh… My… Gods,” he sat in the middle of the living room floor. He was tied up and gagged, Kadaj on his shoulders, Loz and Yazoo dancing around him. But it was the new additions to his body that really caught my eye. “You turned my husband into a Neko.”

“Payback Bitches!”

I stared at Isdela for a moment then sighed. “Okay you’ve had your fun,” I said, “You mind turning him back now. I mean I love cats and all, but I don’t think I can deal with this.”

“Let me think ahhhh… No.”

“ot unny Isdla,” Sephy tried to say though the gag, “urn m ack!”

“Deal Sephirella! I’ll be back in a few days to turn you back,” Isdela turned to leave.

“Ah no,” I huffed, “I am not dealing with Sephiroth the Neko for a few days.”

“Sorry sis,” Aranel said following after her friend. “You know how it is. Once her mind is made up…”

“Both of you get back here and fix this,” I yelled. But I was promptly ignored. “For… Loz untie your father!”

“But I don’t wanna,” He protested.

“I said untie him… NOW!”

Loz tensed up for a moment before setting to work untying Sephy. I eyed Yazoo and he helped his brother. Kadaj happily remand on top of Sephiroth’s head. That was until Sephy was free of his bindings. Once his hands were free, he ripped the gag off and jumped up, attempting to get to Isdela and Aranel.

“Forget it,” I whined, “there gone.”

Sephiroth growled in anger. Sensing his anger, the boys bolted upstairs. Sephy just stood there staring out the door at empty space.

“Want a drink,” I asked him.

“May as well,” He hissed.

We finished off the last bit of Absolute we had before we retired for the evening. Although I didn’t sleep much, I kept getting smacked by Sephy’s new tail. At one point during the night I had thought about strangling him with the damn thing.

It was rough getting up this morning. Already today I have texted and called both Isdela and Aranel about a dozen times each, but the only response I got from either of them was from Izzy after about the third text. All it said was “Payback’s a bitch!” When those two do show back up I’m going to strangle both of them with Sephy’s damn tail.

“So how long must I live like this,” Sephiroth asked me for what felt like the hundredth time.  

“I don’t know,” I snapped back, “I didn’t know the first time you asked me, just like I didn’t know last night.” I head the doorbell ring and walked thought the house to answer the it, “And when you ask me again three seconds from now I still won’t know,” I yelled back to him yanking open the front door, “What!?”

Cloud stood before me, carrying a small child with slate colored hair in his arms while a redheaded child hung from his shoulders. “Yuffie demanded some alone time with Reno so they dump Axel and Zexy on me.”

“Now is so not a good time sweetie,” I whispered to him.

“Angel who’s there,” I heard Sephiroth call from behind me. Cloud’s eyes widened.

“Uncle Cloud,” the redhead yelled. “He’s got cat ears!”

                                                                                                                                               

“So your sister’s friend turned him into a cat person because he tried to blow up her ship,” Cloud asked.

“Yep,” I answered, “It’s been an ongoing battle.”

“So that’s what he’s been up to all these years.”

“Yeah, he didn’t stop being a villain. He just found someone else to take his issues out on.”

“How did all this start?”

“Well… It started with a yelling match,” I said. “I don’t remember who started it. All I remember of that was Sephiroth called Isdela a moocher and Izzy said Sephy has mommy issues. Anyway the swords came out after that.”

“Where’d he get that Isdela is a moocher,” Cloud asked.

“I don’t think he meant it, I just think he was trying to urk her, which it worked cuz next thing I knew Izzy tried to steal Masamune, so Sephy set some of her shoes on fire. Isdela blinded him for about a week which led to Sephiroth steeling all of Izzy and Aranel’s booze which led to the hair cutting incident.”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Cloud stopped me, “They cut… his hair?”

“Oh yeah,” I responded, “And despite what you may think, his hair does not grow back that quickly. I had to deal with him mopping about for little over a year. Only time he left this house was when Yazoo was born.”

“Harsh…”

“That wasn’t the end of it. Once his hair grew back, he stowed away on her ship for a year. Made the entire grew think the place was haunted.”

“What then?”

“Izzy striped him down to his boxers, dropped him off on the North Continent and made him walk home. That led to a three daylong battle. He got Masamune back, but Aranel knocked him out and her and Izzy wrapped him up in a full body cast and left him on the doorstep for me.”

“What then?”

“Things were quite for awhile, we had Kadaj. Normal family stuff… then Sephiroth tried to blow up Izzy ship the first time, failed, got his head busted up, tried again and now his a Neko yay story of my life…”

Cloud just stared at me. “You need a vacation.”

“Really,” I smarted off, “Never would have guessed.”

Cloud just laughed at me. I knew he was trying to be nice, and I really could use a break.

“Oh my gods,” Cloud cried out. I turned to see Axel run into the living room. He looked like a Mac truck had hit him. His nose was all bloody, his eye was swelling and it looked like he could be missing a tooth or two.

“What happened,” I asked.

“We… were… playing,” Axel chocked out. His eyes were red from crying.

“He called me a pretty princess,” Kadaj yelled from the doorway to the kitchen. “So I punched him!”

“KADAJ… ROOM… NOW,” I demanded.

“Yuffie’s going to kill me,” Cloud whined.

“Come on,” I said, “I’ll help you get him cleaned up.”

“Is he going to be okay,” Yazoo asked me as Cloud carried Axel into the downstairs bathroom.

“He’ll be fine sweetie,” I assured him. Yazoo smiled shyly up at me.

                                                                                                                                               

I lay in bed thinking about the day, half awake, half asleep. I sighed as Sephy’s tail smacked me again. “I can not live like this,” I said to myself. I was starting to drift off again when I heard strange laughter out in the hallway. I leaned up on my elbows to look out the door. There she was again, the little redhead girl. She looked like she was playing with some dolls and she was humming. I felt myself smile as I watched her.

“Angel,” Sephiroth groaned. I opened my eyes to see him watching me, confusion in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said turning away from him. “It was just a dream.” I head Sephiroth sigh and felt the bed sink as he readjusted. Then that damn tail hit me again.